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The Misunderstandings about Selfishness!

Being overly concerned for ones self is due to lack beliefs. Being overly concerned for others while excluding yourself can also be selfish for YOU! No one is going to look out for you like you can! Until we are filled up from the inside, we really don’t have much to offer others. To become filled up it is important to be selfish enough to care how you feel. We try to get our joy, appreciation, love and approval from others and that is the real problem. Or they are constantly trying to get filled up from us. We need to be able to tap into that support from the inside and then offer it to others. We are told so many times that we shouldn’t be selfish and that being selfish is some how wrong and bad. How are we going to be filled up if we are:

1. Trying to get others to give it to us?

2. Doing what others want before our own needs are met?

3. Feeling bad every time we take ourselves into consideration?

Are you the type who has given so much of yourself away in order to please others that you just want to quit? Lost yourself in your giving? It’s time you started being selfish. We have to be filled up. Only then can we lose the needy self and become self-less. Expecting that others give it to us is as unreasonable as us always giving. You are always with yourself and if you are not joyful and peaceful then you are not filled up.

Empowerment is about YOU being empowered. It is a confidence, a knowing, a security, an easiness, and most of all it is feeling supported. Support feels like you can’t lose. It doesn’t mean you won’t fail, it means even if you fail you have won in some way. Peace, Joy, Love, and support are our birthrights. What does that mean? It means they are already in place. We only need to remove the blocks to these states of being. That means we must take some time to search our beliefs that are blocking these states. If you don’t you will continue to suffer and be selfish (relying on others to fill that void). Selfishness is not doing what others want you to do because they are usually wanting you to do what they want because they are being selfish also. In other words selfishness is giving to get and it is based on the false belief that “I don’t have”. What about a world where everyone does what they want instead of focusing on what others are or are not doing? We usually become vested in others business when we don’t feel Joyful. We are jealous, insecure, controlling, demanding, insisting. We insist on our Joy and we should insist on it. We are just looking for it in the wrong places. We are insisting they love only us, or pay attention to only us or give to only us. If we were filled up, we would never insist they give it because we would already HAVE it. Be selfish enough to care how you feel. When we are filled up we are more than considerate and caring towards others. We are compassionate as well because we realize what it was like to be so needy. It doesn’t feel good. Pain may be a motivator but it is not a friend you want to keep you company! The awareness that selfishness is needed in order to be in alignment is wise. Giving and feeling depleted is draining. Whether we hold expectations about others or them us, it is selfish to think we should conform or they should conform to our expectations, simply because we are misunderstanding the very word selfishness. Most of our expectations aren’t even spoken. We hold assumptions that “they should just know” or they hold that assumption about us. Unspoken expectations that get met with anger, frustration or resentments, stone -walling, gas-lighting, pay backs and even violence. If anyone gets angry that you are being selfish, so be it. Will they not benefit once you are filled up? Absolutely they will. When our cup runneth over it over flows onto all the people we care about. Selfishness leads to Self-less. We must first fill up before the false self can dissolve and not be worried about.

Peace to you!



What is Truth?

Truth is relative. What does that mean? It means it depends on your level of consciousness which determines HOW you see reality. Another word for seeing is perception. Through the senses which are interpreted from the mind, perception is experienced. Seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing, touching, are basically self-explanatory. The smelling of bread baking or burnt bread! It is impossible to absolutely know if everyone smells bacon the same but we DO know that not everyone enjoys the smell or taste or texture the same.  Only by your subjective experience is it true for you. No point arguing that bacon tastes good to someone who says otherwise. The problem we get into most often when it comes to perception is the duality of positions or opinions being right, wrong, good, bad, etc. We do not look at opinions usually, we look at people. We are not seeing information we are seeing a BAD PERSON.  From a blinding level of consciousness, we can’t distinguish information, from the person saying it. Pride is blinding and it cannot separate WHAT someone is saying from the someone saying it!

Pride is a defensive posture and will interpret a rejection of information as a rejection of ‘self’ or a me. I am not speaking of pride as in “I am proud to be a marine” or “I am proud to have graduated from college”. I am speaking about pride as being blind-sided and a stubbornness. Blind sided because they are seeing a person, not the information, and are closed either consciously or unconsciously, to seeing the distinction.

We know we are not our cars, we have cars, but we can’t see we aren’t our thoughts, we have thoughts. At least not until our consciousness moves into a more open position. Otherwise we are constantly getting bombarded with hurt feelings when we confuse the two. We call that sensitivity. It does feel like we are being attacked or attacking each other’s being, rather than, offering different opinions. If we perceive we are being attacked we will either want to defend, attack back, or remove ourselves. Very frustrating to have conversations or exchange ideas this way.

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